There are no Limits to His Love
By Rebecca Wade
In 2005, I was baptized into the Catholic Church as a newborn. Later, I attended Catholic school. Growing up, many traumatic childhood events gave me a poor perception of who God is. Because of this, I viewed God as vindictive and angry, which led me to a life of sin. I was detached when I attended Mass. Toward my early adulthood, I became an atheist. Although I experienced loneliness and emptiness, I ignored it. My neglectful attitude caused these feelings to worsen over time. Finally, I tried to find help through a nondenominational church. I tried to worship as they did, but the empty feeling continued. My “worship” felt inauthentic. My efforts failed. I was confused as to why problems continued to worsen, even though I was doing everything I thought I should. Later on, I was completely excluded from the nondenominational church. I mistakenly took this exclusion as a sign that I was not good enough or worthy enough to attend church. I became distraught and felt deep remorse and confusion. I was completely discouraged from a relationship with the church and God. Through it all, I believed God was severely displeased and did not know or want me.
My hopelessness forced me to put my trust in the world to heal my emotional wounds. I gained nothing from it. My family saw my pain and encouraged me to return to the Catholic Church.
This prompted me to start researching. I asked the internet many questions about Jesus. I eventually found that the Catholic Church is the only Church that traces back to Christ Himself. I realized that getting excluded from that nondenominational church was God’s way of protecting me and bringing me back home.
When I turned to the Catholic Church, I went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, I encountered God’s peaceful presence. After Confession, I felt the burden of my sin being lifted from me. I knew that I received God’s grace; however, I was not perfect, and I still struggled with my past. I continued to listen to God’s gentle pull and continued to return to Confession.
Then, I had an intimate encounter with the Eucharist. After I received Holy Communion, an intense, warm, and loving presence flowed through me, and I was comforted. After a year of my journey following Jesus, I was astounded at how much I had healed and grown as a person. It was only through God’s love, the gift of His precious Body, and His healing grace in Confession that I was restored. My love deepened for God, and I continued to pray. However, something was still missing. One day, when I was praying in church, I was pouring my heart out to God and began to cry. My heart filled with peace, and an overwhelming urge to laugh took over. In the beginning, I was confused as to why I was laughing. Then God told me that it was His comfort and joy! I smiled and let the joyful laughter from the Holy Spirit soothe me. Through all of my experiences and encounters, God taught me how much He loved me. He made me realize that I am more than my sins. I am well loved, and my worth is beyond measure. I began to look at Christ’s sacrifice not as a reminder of my sins and a reason to feel ashamed, but as a powerful declaration of His love for us. I know now that the Passion of Christ is a powerful declaration of His love for us. He is always willing to be generous with His mercy. He is the opposite of vindictive. He is rather, as St. Faustina describes Him, a God with a treasure of compassion that is inexhaustible. God also reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” God also emphasizes who He is in 1 John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” These words from the Bible are a written attestation of God’s everlasting love for us. Therefore, God gave me healing from depression and new hope through His grace presented in the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Holy Eucharist.