Through These Trials, I See God

By Mary Diehl

I was born into a beautiful family, the last of eight children. My parents were devout Catholics who truly lived their faith through their daily lives. My father was and still is a deacon for the Catholic Church and my mother fostered many children, eventually adopting two and having five more naturally. Growing up in a loving, religious household was a gift from my parents, having faith that remained in me throughout my life, that has been a gift from God.

After more than 30 hours of labor I waited for “It’s a boy!” Instead it was silence, followed by mass chaos and panic. Kevin was born not breathing. I heard the dreaded words that my pediatrician had warned me about, Neonatal STAT! He said if I hear those words to start asking questions because something was not right. I asked, “What’s wrong? Is he ok?” My mom just rubbed my arm and told me how beautiful he was. My husband was right by his side.

Finally, a breath of relief to us all! Kevin gasped and breathed, then we all cried. 

It was a whirlwind start to our little family. 

Fast forward to two weeks later. I was struggling to nurse Kevin and he was choosing to sleep rather than eat. We had a breast-feeding specialist come to the house to help. She said that he was doing fine and this was all normal. I was still feeling anxious and was happy that we were heading to the pediatrician that day for his first checkup. Just as we were about to leave my mom stopped me. She said that she would never want to cause concern with a new mother, but she felt like Kevin’s breathing was labored. She asked me to have his heart checked while we were there. His heart? Yes. Months before my mom was helping with a family friend and their new baby that were transferred down to a hospital near us. This baby was born with a severe heart condition and unfortunately had recently passed away. I brushed off her concerns and told her she was too close to the loss and Kevin was fine.

At the pediatrician’s visit, he was checked all over and passed with flying colors! My husband and I were pleased and put him back into his carrier to head home. It was at that moment I remembered my mom. I paused and asked the doctor if he would take one more look at Kevin’s heart. I explained about my “worrywart” mom and how she mentioned that when he breathed his head would bob up and down as if it was labored. The doctor didn’t skip a beat. We took him back out and handed him over for a second look. He listened intently through the stethoscope. ‘Hmmm, I hear a small murmur.” This was no concern to either my husband nor I, for William also had a thin chest wall and a small murmur. Sticking his head out of the door the doctor then called several colleagues to have a listen. All agreed they heard something. Just to be safe they called over to a clinic that had a pediatric cardiologist and sent us straight there.

We arrived at Nemours clinic and they began to run tests that would become so familiar later in our life, but now sounded scary and invasive. An EKG, bloodwork, and finally an echocardiogram. I called my mom. I told her not to worry, they were running tests and so far everything looked normal.

We walked into the tiny room where the sonographer was set up to take a look at Kevin’s heart. He was on my lap asleep. The test was long. The cardiologist was standing over the tech and advising her on what to look at. They whispered back and forth as we sat in the darkness. Suddenly, three things happened at once. The sonographer left the room covering her face in tears, the cardiologist turned to us and said “We have a serious problem” and my parents appeared in the doorway of the room.

We received the diagnosis shortly. Kevin has a rare heart defect called Congenitally Corrected Transposition of the Great Vessels, CCTGA, along with some other abnormalities. In lay terms this means that his heart is in backwards, but that the blood flow still goes in the correct direction. This happens in less than 1% of the entire population with heart defects. We have only heard of one other person with his condition, a young boy in Japan that we only have records following up until his 16th birthday. We were told Kevin would never have a normal life.

We were so young and scared. Two days before Kevin’s arrival I turned a mere 21yrs old and two days before that my husband turned 20. This is how our married life began. It’s easy to see the grief and imagine how terrified we were, but all I truly remember was God. He was the one who had my mother be a small part of the previous heart baby’s life. He was the one who made us take Kevin back out of his seat. He was the one who sent us down the path to meet people we would’ve never had the gift of meeting. He was with us, guiding our way. 

Despite what the doctors told us we decided to treat Kevin like any other child. He went on to do all of the things we were told he could never do. Walk? Ha, this kid would run! He participated in gymnastics at a competitive level, and was even being invited to the Junior Olympics. He swam on a team, played baseball, rode his bike, played the piano - he lived! The doctors were always cautious to hear the choices we made, but they were always amazed at the outcome. 

Through the next 29 years of marriage there have been more stories, more opportunities for trust and countless times when God has showered His unwavering faith on our hearts. We had 5 miscarriages, one who was born sleeping into Jesus’ arms. Each one I carried a little longer. God gave us the sweetest resting place for our dear John Anthony, right down the road from where our beloved Monsignor John Williams lives. He visits his grave regularly and we are filled with peace.

We have experienced pain like no other as we watched them bring Kevin back to life on several occasions. Kevin has gone on to have two open heart surgeries and countless other small procedures. Some have gone better than others and twice we listened to the doctors tell their stories of how afraid they were in the operating room as at the same time we waited outside the doors praying they would know what to do to save his life.

I have learned to navigate a new life with breast cancer. I was diagnosed on December 26th, 2018. I had a double mastectomy where they found five different kinds of breast cancer. I had chemo and currently remain on a low dose treatment plan. Not to be outdone, last year my husband joined the health-issue circle and suffered a small stroke. Thankfully, he had no lasting effects and we saw God’s mercy.

I have felt God’s presence, God’s peace and God’s healing. Through all of these trials I see God. I have been blessed with seven incredible children, three new members of our family through marriage and five grandchildren, with another due in June! Kevin is now nearing his 30s, married and has a son of his own. Just a few weeks ago Fr. Jim and I were talking about Kevin and he said, “Is there anything Kevin can’t do?!” No, thank God the answer is no. We are all healthy and most of all, we are all extremely blessed.

Faith is something I feel surrounds me daily. When I struggle, when I fail, when I worry, I never lose my faith that anything I face, I face with God by my side. As I write this, I am looking at a statue of Mary that lives in our bedroom. I pray to always have faith like Mary. 

Amen.